– Kumari Sushila (1961)
Fifteen years ago, there entered into my sorrow laden life, a redeeming force, whom the world acclaims as Mother. Those divine hands lifted me from the mire of samsara, and vouchsafed to me grace and protection.
I had no knowledge of her spiritual attainments when I went to her. But, the kind and loving treatment which she meted out to all alike revealed the largeness of her heart and breadth of her vision. Her overflowing love captivated me. In her was inescapable attraction and irresistible spiritual power.
Her presence evokes a child-like attitude and that is precisely the reason why everyone irrespective of his age spontaneously addresses her as mother. Her inherent divinity and infinite love are those of the universal mother. In her benign look there is the assurance of protection. Manifested in her is also the majesty of her omnipotence. Her love is to all. Her inspiring words gave themes for contemplation, also her stately bhavas and wondrous samadhi.
Her state of ecstasy reminded one of the days of Sri Chaitanya Deva. Her touch was sufficient to make the devotee share the ecstasy of her bhavas.
Once during bhajan, when in the exalted bhava of Lord Krishna, she placed her hand on a devotee who was an intimate friend of mine. Suddenly the devotee was thrown into an ecstatic state. Exclaiming “Light, Light” she lost her body consciousness. There was unusual calmness on her countenance and she remained in that state for over one and half hours.
To the surprise of all, the lingering fragrance in the room was intensified. All were thrown into intoxicating rapture.
Even though the devotee was brought back from the state of ecstasy by the touch of Mother, still she was in an ecstatic mood for some days. Her indrawn eyes, her indifference to the external sense world, her aloofness, showed that her mind was preoccupied. Afterwards, relating to me her experience the devotee told me that when Mother touched her, two beams of light emanated and entered her body, throwing her frame into an electrifying ecstasy.
Hearing my friends narration, an intense desire arose in me to have vision of Lord Krishna. I whole-heartedly prayed to Mother who was none other than Lord Krishna for me, to reveal herself to me in the form of Krishna. The compassionate Mother granted my prayer. When it was midnight some unseen hand shook me and woke me up. I felt an urge for meditation. Within a few minutes my mind rose towards a blue light, in which I saw the blissful form of Mother, which in the next moment changed into the enchanting form of Shyamsunder.