– Sri. H.M.Gadiyar, 1961.
Misery is really blessing in disguise in as much as it turns our mind from enjoyment to the feet of the almighty, who is existence-knowledge-bliss absolute. Even though the pleasure-seeking man will find it hard to believe, the experiences of many exalted souls and saints bear testimony to this fact.
In 1936 my wife breathed her last, leaving four small children behind. Her untimely demise hurled me to the abyss of grief. Naturally, the uppermost thought in my mind in agonising moments was to renounce the world leaving the children in an orphanage. But, by the mysterious intervention of an unseen power, that idea did not materialise. The twelve years that followed was one of extreme unhappiness and mental anguish aggravated by other calamities. This state of affairs continued until one fine evening in 1948 I met Mother at a devotee’s house in Thyagaraya Nagar, Madras. The meeting was the greatest event in my life since it changed the course of my subsequent life. Intuitionally I saw my savior in her. I was wonderstruck at her instructive discourses on subtle subjects of philosophy and religion. Though her academic education was up to the fifth class in a primary school, she spoke in exalted moods in alien tongues with incredible speed and with amazing mastery of language. Every word she spoke was charged with irresistible force as it emanated from the very source of supreme wisdom. The super-consciousness into which she frequently entered baffled even those of mighty intelligence and scholastic learning. She appeared to me in the very first sight as a world teacher, a moral regenerator and a great social reformer all combined in one.
Sri Bhagawan, consort of Mother is ever conscious of the supreme divinity embodied in her. His exemplary devotion to her revealed itself when in 1956 at Mangalore, Bhagawan was laid up with high fever. The temperature rose up to 105 degrees and he lay unconscious in the bed to the great anguish of many. One day we were surprised to note that he was repeating the holy name of Mother when he was unconscious.
Mother’s service of Sri Bhagawan is illustration of the purity of wifely devotion in which love and reverence are in perfect amazing combination. Her life is a dedication at the altar of pathi-bhakthi, devotion to husband. Her overflowing love is an ecstatic devotion.
Sri Bhagawan must have fully realized the purpose of her advent. Formerly Mother and Bhagawan were often going together wherever they went. But after the attack of thrombosis, doctors advised Bhagawan not to travel. But still, at great personal inconvenience, he presses Mother to visit various mandalis in order to gladden the hearts of the devotees. From this we get an idea of his great spirit of sacrifice and love for humanity. But it is interesting to take note of the fact that according to him, he always feels the presence of Mother even when the latter is away. Bhagawan is inwardly engaged always in contemplation of her divine form. “My sadhana is one continuous prayer to her to grant me grace so that I may never forget the truth of her divinity”, he was heard to remark.
I received initiation from Mother when she visited Madras for the first time in 1948. She appeared to me as compassion personified because, though I had neither the requisite purity nor scriptural learning, she condescended to initiate me. Verily she is a mother who cannot discriminate among her children. After initiation when she placed her hand in blessing on my head, I knew for certain that miseries were over. The initiation altogether transformed my life. With the power which she infused, I am able to withstand the worst effects of prarabdha with comparative coolness and courage. I feel her presence. Her unseen hands protect me. Peace has become my permanent possession.
In compassion, She was comparable to Lord Buddha. Numberless are the unhappy families that have been integrated into units of peace and contentment under her loving ministration. She understands the problems of life and offers lasting solutions. Her life is infinitely greater than her teachings. The life of spirituality, according to her, is a life established in truth and wedded to righteousness. Truth and righteousness are mutually related to each other and serve as complementary virtues for an aspirant. Without adhering to truth, dharma cannot be practised. Without observing dharma, truth cannot be realised.
Pathivrathya which Mother characterizes as the basic virtue of a married woman is exemplified in her glorious life in all perfection. In my younger days, as a young school going boy, I had not attached more importance to the celebrated life of Savitri of yore than as a mythological story. But when I observe Mother’s life I am convinced that our past has once again been relived in revived grandeur. In a message She says: “In woman past meets present”. The truth of this statement is well illustrated in her own life. A pathivratha according her is at once a perfect jnanin, a dynamic yogin and a devotee of the highest order.
During one of my trips to Tellicherry, Mother’s mother was there. From Trivandrum and Trichur, about a dozen devotees had also arrived for the darshan of Mother. After our supper, there was an informal gathering which was blessed by the presence of Mother, Sri Bhagawan and Mother’s mother. One of the devotees requested Mother’s mother to enlighten us by her account of Mother’s bala leelas, as she was the fittest person for it. Mother’s mother smiled and said “I would like to give but I am not accustomed to give a speech and I do not know Malayalam either”. I undertook to translate her words into English. Mother’s mother was an unostentatious and pious soul and she was not able to put things in the form of a narration or discourse to the educated group of devotees. At this stage, Mother placed her hand on her mother’s back. Whereupon Mother’s mother who was not able to talk, went on with a fine account of bala leela, like one well versed in the language in which she spoke, to the delight of all of us. Spontaneously I started humming the stanza:
“ Mookam Karothi vachalam
Pangum langayathe girim.
Yathkripathamaham vande
Paramananda Madhavam.”