My sister wrote to me from Madras “ A noble Lady with high spiritual powers is now here. She assumes with ease the personality of Radha, Krishna, Siva or Sakthi at different times to the surprise of all beholders.” May be, it was religious background of my early years which created an immediate urge in me to see this Divine Mother at once. But it was not possible for me to go to Madras then.
A few days later I had a dream. Near the pond in my house under the shade of a tree, a holy woman clad in white was resting. Her face radiated serenity and effulgence. She had a bundle of books by her side. Her dress and appearance reminded me of Sree Sarada Devi. The resemblance was striking. I was so happy that I could see the Divine Mother. When I approached and prostrated myself before her, she affectionately handed me a big volume. In my dream I heard someone say that this is Sadguru Sri Rama Devi.
Yet I had to wait another six months to realize my ambition to behold the Divine Mother in real life. A wave of joy swept over me when I was told that Sree Rama Devi was now in my home town of Trivandrum and I could see her the next day.
As the evening shades faded into twilight, I entered a large hall in which a group of cultured ladies were singing bhajan, deep in devotion. In the midst of them was the Divine Mother leading the bhajan. In the brightness of the lamps around, I beheld her clearly. Was it not thus that, centuries ago, the Gopis sang praises of Lord Krishna on the banks of the Kalindi, with their adored one in their midst? Some subconscious impulse made my mind completely in harmony with the scene before me. All on a sudden, Mother was in samadhi. The devotees continued the bhajan. Half an hour later, Mother stood up with her hands outstretched, and called “ Krishna, Krishna ”. The sincerity of her expression could be interpreted only to mean that Lord Krishna was there before her. Was she actually seeing Lord Krishna. But how could this be? How could anyone see Lord Gopalakrishna in flesh and blood in this twentieth century? I took a few steps forward so as to have a close look. Her face deepened in hue and seemed to be radiating an aura of spiritual bliss. Suddenly she turned towards me with a smile. What is there to stand comparison with the pristine purity of that smile, May be the innocent smile of new born infant. Those beautiful eyes seemed to brighten until they were shining as stars. That look radiating affection penetrated deep into my heart. It seemed to me that those dark eyes were those which only God-intoxicated saints could perceive with the naked eye. For a moment I was purified.
I was able to see Mother the next day also. There was a complete change in Her attitude. She was in deep samadhi for more than three quarters of an hour. She remained motionless like a statue the very image of Bharatha Matha. Thus Sree Krishna of the previous day became Bharatha Matha the next day.
I had the good fortune to see Mother the third day also. She was sitting like an innocent unsophisticated child. She was trying to speak something. It seemed as though she found it difficult to give expression to her ideas. I was wondering why such a dynamic force as Mother had to keep silent. All at once she went into samadhi and an extraordinary effulgence began to radiate from her face which assumed an unusual seriousness. After sometime she rose from the samadhi, and the discourse that followed was a mellifluous eloquent speech revealing spiritual truths with the authority of a realized soul. It was as if Goddess Saraswati had assumed human shape to expound the principles of Vedanta in the most powerful language.
Another day I saw Mother in a crowded hall, in deep samadhi, a picture of beauty and radiance. Some were concentrating their attention on this marvellous vision. Suddenly a deep sound claimed every one’s attention – a sound that could not be compared with any sound heard hitherto. It was resonant like ‘OM’ and it reverberated for about fifteen minutes. It was indeed wonderful that it originated from Mother, immobile as a statue. I wondered whether this superhuman personality could not be the very trinity that the learned call ‘OM ’.
Yet another day, I went along with two of my sisters for an exclusive interview with Mother. Mrs.T.N.K.Nair, introducing us to Mother, told her that we were rather embarrassed, knowing our limitations. A smile of delight illumined Mother’s countenance. She directed at us a look, overflowing with kindness and affection which kindled in us a feeling of purity beyond description. Her attitude was expressive of more spontaneous affection than what even our own real mother would have felt and expressed when re-united after a long separation. We began to notice in Mother’s appearance a striking resemblance to our real mother who had left us a few years ago. It was as if our devout mother had returned to this world. After our prostrations she bade each one of us to sit by her side. But we preferred to sit on the floor. When we asked Mother to give us “Smaran” her face beamed with joy. She made us recite “Sree Ram Jaya Ram Jaya Jaya Ram”. Along with the Smaran it seemed she had infused in us spiritual power also. After talking to us for some time, she told us that she would give us “Antharlakshya” during her next visit. We looked at each other bewildered, as we did not know the meaning of this term. She again smiled at us, her beautiful expression radiating peace and tranquility. We experienced the sensation of being re-united with our own mother and this was the first time we had some feeling of consolation since our bereavement and from that day Mother took the place of our real mother.
Another day while giving discourse, mother assumed an altogether different aspect. It changed all on a sudden from one of serenity to one of gravity. With a firm, and deep voice, mother began to lead the Namavali herself. The majority of those present recited “Narayana, Narayana” along with her. There was one lady who was keeping silent, perhaps out of diffidence. Mother rushed to her side and asked her “why this diffidence? Recite “Narayana, Narayana ”. It was a command given in a loud voice, which removed the last vestiges of hesitation from that lady as well as others who had not joined the bhajan. The entire audience joined the chorus and the room reverberated with the name of Narayana.
To many, Mother appeared to take the form of Lord Krishna, as the charioteer of Arjuna, and they were struck with awe and wonder. After mother retired, the lady mentioned above, wanted to know how we were able to approach mother without fear. We explained to her that the Divine Mother, though omnipotent was also the embodiment of kindness and affection. We assured her that she too could approach Mother without any fear whatsoever.
A large crowd had assembled in the lounge of Trivandrum airport to see mother off. While being carried forward by the crowd I happened to tread on a flower pot. Mother noticed it and expressed as much concern as she would, if she noticed an error in the spiritual plane. She warned me “Don’t break that flower pot, please don’t break it.” Nothing is too pretty for her, not too worldly as not to deserve attention.
During Mother’s next visit, a friend advised us, twin sisters, to get the “Upadesh” from Mother. We were of course eager for this, but we were worried not knowing whether we were worthy of it. Again a dream foreshadowed the future. Late in the evening, I trekked over a winding footpath on a beautiful hillock to the opening of a cave. Inside, beyond a corridor, was a shrine, in which were three idols, with a lamp burning in front. A priest was offering archana to the idols. The idols on either side started to dance while the one in the middle remained static. I heard someone say “This is the Divine Mother, the Divine Mother”. Later during the Paratishta ceremony of Sree Rama Devi Mandir at Trivandrum, Mother said that the deities installed were so powerful that the idols would even dance if you worship them with enough devotion and that remark made me gasp at the memory of my dream. When the priest offered me Prasad, I told him that my sister was waiting outside and she too was craving for blessings. He then gave the Prasad for her also. Not long afterwards-myself and two of my sisters received “Upadesh” from mother. Not that we were worthy of it, but because of mother’s infinite kindness, we believe. Before giving us Upadesh mother took us to her husband and introduced us to him saying “Here are three children come to receive Upadesh from Mother.” Seeing the expression of intense love on Mother’s face at that time, we could realize the full meaning of the familiar expression “God is love ”.
The spiritual guidance from mother has enabled us to realize her greatness more and more with the passage of time. We sense an invisible power guiding us, not only in the physical presence of Mother, but also whenever we think of Mother and also in moments of crisis. Yet the more we realize Mother’s greatness the more we feel that there is lot more to be realized.
Once, due to pressure of domestic work and other engagements, I was unable to keep up my routine schedule of nama-japa for a short period. One day, on which was to take place the naming ceremony of my sister’s child, I tried to make up for my shortcoming by concentration. After about fifteen minutes, I had a flash of a vision of Mother’s radiant face, her bright eyes and smiling lips. I am certain that it was no dream, albeit it lasted but a second. From that moment, I believe firmly, that Mother is the most supreme incarnation of Divinity combining the complementary features of all avatars. That day I named my sister’s child “Rama”. May mother bless us all.
– Smt. G. Rugmini Amma