Rama Sakti Mission

– Smt. P. K. Narayana Pillai

I solemnly believe that the Divine Mother an incarnation of God and as such transcends all human description-ineffable and attributeless.  Ever since I had the good fortune to have her darsan at Trichur, some years ago, She has so captured my heart and permeated the whole of my inner being with her radiant sweetness, that even a momentary thought of her thrills me with inexpressible joy and happiness.  It was not the angelic beauty of her corporal form, but the transcendental and changing bhavas during her ecstatic states, and the sparkle of joy in her eyes, the aura of cheer around her and the scent of purity emanating from her during her conscious states, that first attracted me towards her.

Readers would please excuse me, if I record here a few personal incidents in my life to show, how as a result of the impact of certain circumstances, I had the good fortune to come under the spiritual guidance of the Divine Mother.

I was born as the second daughter of my parents-a couple of very respectable social standing noted for their scholarship, religious fervor and piety.  It is from them that as a child, I learnt the ancient scriptures and puranas and also imbibed the highest ideals of conduct.  My mother used to recite to me stanzas from the Ramayana, Bhagavatham, Bhagavat Gita, etc, and thus though my education stopped at the level of the vernacular Primary school, I developed an admiration for our ancient heritage and culture and this has served me well in my later pursuits for the highest knowledge.  And thus equipped, I had the good fortune to be married to a very great and renowned person, who though a lawyer, and subsequently a High Court judge, was admittedly the brightest luminary in the literary, social and political firmament of that time.  After about 27 years of uninterrupted, happy married life he left me for his heavenly abode and the responsibility of looking after my little children fell entirely upon my shoulders.  Of course my parents were alive and there were a large number of relatives and friends, to comfort me and give me courage, but the void left by my husband’s loss was too deep to be filled up in any way.  At that time, I longed for some spiritual consolation.  A palmist who had studied my palms had corroborated with a forecast in my horoscope, that the time was getting ripe for me to come into contact with a sadguru who would give me peace of mind and tranquility.  I dreamt of this day and waited impatiently.

It was at that time that Thangam (wife of my only brother Sri T. N. K. Nayar) who was at Madras for treatment, wrote to me a very strange letter.  This lady who was suffering for a long time from a severe nervous break down had gone to Madras for expert treatment.  All physical methods of treatment were of no avail and ultimately the doctor who was himself a very religious man, suggested her to go and have a darsan of a divine lady at T. Nagar who was conducting daily Bhajans.  The letter from Madras mentioned above contained her experiences which she has subsequently elaborated into a book “From Darkness Unto Light.”

I longed to see this divine lady.  It was then that Thangam came from Madras and related to and others in the family, her strange personal experiences and how all her physical ailments had disappeared at the first interview with the divine lady.  Some of her experiences thrilled me and made my hairs stand on end.  Here I may take the privilege of recording that the first Bhajan praising the Glory of the Divine Mother ever to be conducted in Kerala was performed at my residence under the leadership of Thangam and all the members of the family took part in it.  An incident that happened during this time is worth mentioning.  One evening, when we were all assembled in the hall for Bhajan and when the little children were adorning Mother’s picture with fresh garlands, a strange sound like “Omkaram” was heard emanating from the picture.  The children naturally got a little afraid and drew back, but the elders assembled there knew the deep significance of this that Mother’s Chaitanyam or sakti has been established in my house beyond doubt and that she has responded to our prayers.

Thus days passed on with Thangam’s discourses about Mother, during the day and regular Bhajans in the evening.  The more I heard these, the greater became my longing to have a darsan of Mother.  It was at that time that the marriage of one of my son’s with Thangam’s daughter was decided to be celebrated at Trichur.  News also came that Mother was graciously consented to grace the occasion with her Divine presence.  This added fire to my burning desire to see Mother.

At Trichur I had a darsan of Mother.  She was sitting on a couch in an ecstatic mood.  I was standing at a distance, benumbed as it were, fixing my gaze on the form in front of me.  As mother was for a long time in that mood, I feasted my eyes to satiation.  In the huge marriage pandal, the ceremony was conducted under the guidance of Mother.  What a privilege I thought for my Son?  After the function Mother again relapsed into a deep Samadhi, which lasted for a long time.

Still I had not the courage to go near Mother.  If she asks something, what shall I say.  During this time I was laid up with an attack of influenza for 2 days.  My son and his wife were waiting to accompany me to Trivandrum.

Then came that crucial day in my life, the day on which I got spiritual initiation from Mother; ” Thiru Onam day in Chingam is the day on which according to the legends King Maha Bali came down to earth to bless the people.  But I was actually blessed that day.  My brother T. N. K. Nayar came to me and said that mother wanted to see me.  There was nervousness and palpitation in me.  My brother accompanied me to Mother’s presence.  She was seated on a couch.  The same radiant and inimitable smile was lit on her face and a wonderful glow emanated from her eyes.  I prostrated before her and then stood up.  Mother spoke with a smile.  “Were you not well? You would be all right.  Go and come to the pooja room after bath.”  Then I understood what mother meant.  She was going to initiate me in the spiritual path.  All the while I was doubting whether Mother would ever give me initiation, because I was conscious of my limited equipment.  Now Mother has seen through me and thought me fit to get a spark from her spiritual dynamo.  This thought gave me courage.  After a hurried bath I went to the pooja room where Mother was waiting for me.  I prostrated before her.  She asked me to sit down in front of her.  She gently patted me over my shoulder.  Immediately I felt overwhelmed and saw that the walls of the room and everything around me was whirling and vanishing.  I felt a spiritual power tangibly emanating from her.  She raised her hands in benediction over my head giving me instantly a vivid consciousness of an eminent presence.  I realized that the whole universe was merged in that presence.  That day I got a glimpse of the divine nature and power of the Guru.  I was literally translated into a new life.  The power she transmitted to me that day is still working within me.

Instances of the Divine grace of the Mother are very many to be recorded here; but one is worth mentioning.  Some years ago my only son-in-law had a sudden attack of paralysis of the left leg.  All kinds of native treatment were ineffective.  A famous Brain specialist was consulted and he definitely said that a brain operation was necessary.  So it was decided to have the operation done at Madras.  Mother was at that time at Mangalore.  We greatly desired to go to Mangalore and get her blessings, but as my son-in-law was not in a condition to undertake the journey, we decided to go to Madras directly.  But to our great surprise and astonishment, when we reached the residence of Thangam at Trichur on our way to Madras, Mother was there!!!  She had arrived there the previous evening without giving any previous notice at all.  She blessed my son-in-law and gently rubbed his head with her hands and said that there was nothing to fear.

The operation day was fixed.  At that time, I was at Trivandrum.  All of us were very anxious.  On the night previous to the operation day; I had a vision of Mother.  I distinctly remember the sweet smile on her face.  She consoled me and said that under her grace, the operation would be successfully performed.  Next day afternoon I got a wire from Madras stating that the operation was successfully performed and that the patient was doing well.  By Mother’s grace he is still active and working.

Whenever Mother comes to Trivandrum she resides in one of our houses and my sisters, children and myself have the privilege of serving her in our humble capacity.  Her discourses and her ever present superconscious state, attract a large number of people of all classes and creeds, men and women, young and old, educated as well as illiterate.

The Bhakta Mandali, Trivandrum has erected a temple dedicated to Mother-Sri Rama Devi Mandiran-an attractive and imposing structure which is fortunately for me just in front of my residence.  In spite of my advancing years and spinal deformity which sometimes gives me excruciating pain, I manage to go to the temple morning and evening and participate in all the special functions conducted there.  Mother gives me the strength to walk.  I am sure that had it not been for her infinite grace I would have been in bed long ago as an invalid.  I again prostrate before the lotus feet of the Mother, always bearing in mind the following stanza:

“Dhyana moolam guror Murthi
Puja moolam guror Padam
Manthra moolam guror Vakyam
Moksha moolam guror Kripa”

“The form of the Guru is the root of meditation; the feet of the guru are the root of the worship; the teaching of the Guru is the root of all sacred syllables; and the grace of the Guru is the root of salvation.”

-Smt. Kerala Varma, M.A., F.C.A.

It is nearly ten years since I met my revered guru.  In November 1950 on a Sunday morning I stepped it to the house where mother was staying at Trichur.  In the large hall Mother was seated on a carpet on the ground facing the audience.  Sitting on the southern side I remember being seated just before her at a distance of ten feet.  Before me presented a glowing white figure.  As soon as I was seated I heard distinctly the word Prem, Prem, Prem repeated thrice and suddenly I saw the delicately shaped hand moving up straight above making a V and the twinkling eye balls rolling up and hiding under the eye lids wide open.

Something caught my heart.  I do not know what my feelings were.  They were certainly elevating, enchanting and inspiring.  The scene was novel.  It was exciting.  I sat there motionless: expecting every moment something which will fill my spiritual void.  Excepting a feeling of buoyancy I was not able to experience anything.

I left the place soon.  I cannot help remarking that I was attracted by the singular beauty of the form of Mother.  It was wandering in some ethereal space enjoying spiritual experiences.  Brindaban and Shyamsunder and the charming lovely tender creeper of Prem, Radha, were floating and splashing in my mind.  The word Prem repeated thrice when I entered the hall struck deep into my heart.  The symbol of Prem was Radha, the beautiful Radha, and here before me was the beautifully shaped lady, perchance, the Radha of my beloved Shyamsunder.

We were told that on Tuesday there would be a Bhajan led by Mother.  A large audience gathered in the hall on that day.  I also joined the gathering as spectator.  Mother was seated at the far end on a chair.  On two sides of her, leaving a path in the centre, sat ladies clad in yellow sarees.  The hall was well lit.  For a moment I felt that the Upanishad-sundaris or the female angels of heaven are seated before the Mother of the Universe and praising her in beautiful songs accompanied by the cymbals of Tamburu and Narada.  The scene was wonderful, enchanting, elevating and one which was beyond description.  One was simply off one’s feet.  Was I in heaven or on earth?  Were these real human beings?  I looked at their faces.  The calm, peaceful, smiling, joy-provoking faces filled with divine grace, not human beauty.  How I enjoyed that evening, I cannot now describe.  The very remembrance of that scene brings freshness and fullness to the wearied heart.

After the Bhajan we heard the talks and descriptions of Mother from many of those ladies.  I had not seen such human joy before.  The portals of heaven seemed to have had been opened.  I could say the beam of light which shone on the faces of these disciples was an important reason for my seeking asylum at Mother’s feet.

All of us are running after Santi, Santi.  In the heaven of Mother’s feet these children have obtained Santi.  Naturally I too desired to share that precious treasure – Santi.

There was a fragrance about and all around Mother.  Whatever she touched gave out the fragrance.  One felt it was like the lovely Lotus spreading its fragrance in the early morning air in order that the thirsty bees may be attracted to drink the honey stored in it.  The honey of starvation was here and human beings were invited without distinction.

I wanted to know more of Mother and I gathered from disciples and the daily discourses of Mother a short history of her life and her sadhana and attainment of the supreme bliss.  At Trichur during those seven or ten days of her short trip she poured out what she had not given out after a stay of two months or three months in other places afterwards.

The most illustrious incident worth narrating was her visit to a Bhagawathi temple.  The goddess was venerated by all Hindus.  The custom of the temple is that no person other than the Poojari can enter the sanctum sanctorum or inner shrine.  Violation of this injunction is pollution to the temple and many tantric rites will have to be performed to purify the deity.  Mother went in and stood before the goddess for worship amidst the loud Kirtanas and praises of God, resounding in the temple premises.  Suddenly like a waft of wind from heaven Mother floated into the inner shrine within the twinkling of the eye and before anyone could think about anything.  There she stands as one identified with the idol, behind it.  No one could distinguish her from the idol.  The two ivory white hands alone could be seen with the Abhaya Varada Mudra.  The temple priest had no doubt as to what was supremely necessary to be done at the moment.  He lighted the camphor and waved the light before the “Light of the world”.  This was the most unorthodox thing conceivable.  In Malabar temples the time for the poojas, and the naivedyas are fixed and the priest could not wave the light or offer naivedyas as it pleased him.  This could be done only as part of pooja, which was at fixed hours.  Secondly, the temple was polluted by the presence of a stranger in the inner shrine and no pooja could be done to the polluted deity.  Neither the priest nor the orthodox throng of worshippers in the temple found any incongruity in the violation of these.  Everybody was elevated, transported and led beyond the limitation of ritualism into a realm of freedom before the real presence.  This was a sudden revelation of the Mother before an unprepared audience.  Like Sree Krishna of yore the veil was again drawn and the people forgot all that happened.

After this, one day, Mother was kind enough to come and bless our house.  Mother was received with the loud chanting of Narayana Nama.  As soon as she alighted from the car a sudden change came in to her.  In the likeness of Gadadhara Vishnu she stood motionless for a time by the side of the car.  The chant of the nama of Narayana began to fill the air and roll about in even higher and higher pitch.  Wave upon wave the thundering kirtan splashed the air and the atmosphere was spiritually electrified.

Slowly then moved the august figure of Mother in Samadhi and reaching the porch sat on the chair kept for her.  The oil lamps burned and the bushel-ful of paddy stood before her.  She placed her feet inside the pan set there for the purpose and accepted the service of washing her feet with water.

She then moved upstairs and walked into the shrine room as a person familiar with the house and sat on the seat intended for her.  A welcome song in Malayalam was sung.  She suddenly rose in Samadhi and her movement of hands and feet re-echoed every sentiment expressed in the song.  She again sat down and after a time came to the normal plane and talked to some of us nearby.  As if suddenly remembering it she took parched rice from her lap and distributed to us as prasadam.  Nobody can say from where this prasadam sprang up.  The shrine has three steps and is covered.  The inside will be nearly 3½ feet high on the sides and 4½ feet in the centre.  No person of 5 feet high can stand inside erect.

Mother hurried into the shrine and embracing the Krishna idol moulded out of mud stood erect on the steps.  How she could stand without her head slating and touching the top is another dilemma unsolved.  She danced and the idol also moved.  It seemed that life came into the idol by the touch of Mother.  Needless to say how intense and suffused with the sense of awe was the whole atmosphere.  The gathering watched in reverence.  To describe the scene is beyond me.  The divinity was manifested there in a manner, which it is impossible for me to describe.  She came down from the shrine and sat on the floor before the shrine.

Mother left a deep impression in all of us.  Divinity cannot manifest more impressively.  Needless to say, I was irresistibly caught up by Mother.  Here I am now an humble follower of Mother from that day onwards.  I cannot remember but with awe and reverence those days we spent on numerous occasions at Tellicherry at Mother’s residence.  The hospitality and love of Mother and the spiritual energy she infused in us are something superhuman.  Without the feeling of the needle piercing your muscles you get such large doses of spiritual injection while you talk, eat and enjoy, that inspite of yourselves, you cannot go back to your old life.

The pleasant thoughts of those days are enough to elevate us, to raise us to heights above the material plane.  What was the Dhyana of the Gopis?  Their Dhyana was the thoughts, the pleasant dream of Gopalakrishna, while walking, talking, and working.  We had also such days many times when Mother appeared to be the very Krishna of yore.

-Smt. T. N. K. Nayar.

Twelve years along the path of light!  It is twelve years since the hand that holds the light led me from darkness unto light.

For years I had been in the grip of a nervous disease.  Existence became agony; in extreme stage of mental malady and bodily weakness, I was led to Mother.  The lost child found its Mother!

All through mental troubles, persisted in me the spiritual urge.  Life and all that it stood for, ceased to interest me; growing in me was, however, the inner conviction that abiding happiness was only at the feet of God.  Yet, I groped in darkness, not knowing how or where to seek the Eternal One.

Who can forget the glorious moment when a soul in travail beholds the Great One; the instinctive recognition and surrender of the soul at the feet of its Master; the first tender touch of divine love that soothes the stricken heart.  My life was transformed.  Disburdened of cares, I rose refreshed, in the cool fragrance of compassionate grace.  Here was the answer to all my prayers-the Mother Divine Herself.

Before meeting Mother, in the throes of acute fear and despair, I had called and called, night and day, to Devi for succor.  Even in unconscious states of fever and delirium, the beautiful verses of Devi mahathmyam reverberated within me.  I never dreamt then that the great Mother-Devi had already embodied herself, on this earth, to grant my prayers and supplications.  From the moment of meeting Mother my worship was exclusively concentrated and consecrated to that single being.

A few days after, I was blessed with upadesh from Mother.  During the ceremony of initiation, I began to feel the vibrant force, and I sat emerged in the realms of wordless peace.  From that moment, the supramental plane began to be sensed in meditation, in the light of which parokshajnanam from the guru, that I am not the body but the immortal self, got significant illustration.  Mother revealed to me the practicability of the realisation of God through Grihastha Dharma.  Vitalizing her teachings was the exemplification of the ideals of her own dedicated life.  For performance of duties in a spirit of detachment, I drew requisite energy and inspiration from the sadhana prescribed by her.  Gradually, I found her sublime teachings merging and blending harmoniously in my life.

As I glance back over the years past, picture after picture comes.  Through personal experiences, I was guided to glimpse the fundamental truth of Mother’s incarnation; the paramount importance of the dual aspects of Mother as the eternal cosmic sakthy, fully manifesting the divine universal motherhood of God, and the equally important, immaculate role of the great teacher, the Satchidananda Guru.  This rare and glorious combination makes her the divine incomparable personality she is!

From ancient times, there has come to us legends of the lives of avathars of Ishwara.  Unfathomable is their greatness, their splendor indescribable, their countless manifestations bewildering.  Time passed, carrying with it into the dimness of the past, the warm memories of wondrous happenings, until they became faded legends and dreams.  But the great spirit never sleeps.  It bursts forth, from time to time, to fulfill cosmic needs.

Here, before us, is the entrancing and mystic life of Mother, the mysterious play and interplay of her cosmic force, the magic spell of her transcendental glories, transporting us from the shadows of the material world to realms of light and love.

In the trials of live, we have felt the poignant sweetness of love diffused from her divine motherhood.  In the transforming touch of that love, we were only conscious of one presence.  Vain thoughts were hushed; feelings stilled; self itself annihilated.  Love suffused everything.  Love alone was.

Again, the tender motherhood emerges in imperial majesty, the transformation is incredibly swift and complete.  Triumphant and supreme, the whole atmosphere, throbbing with cosmic energy, she compels abject surrender and worship.  We feel we are before one who sees all, knows all, does all, to whom the whole world and all its objects are just pawns on her mysterious chessboard!

At such moments, a glance of Mother had been enough, to dispel delusion, give clarity of mind or vision, and bestow even a sublime spiritual experience.  Flashing with illimitable force, her glance, would pierce to the core of the being, gathering and merging us in her cosmic consciousness!

We see Mother again in the pure, austere perfection of the Sadguru, who through initiation into the meaning of Mahavakya, imparts the knowledge of one’s true nature, who absolves and annihilates the bad tendencies, who infuses the spiritual impulse, and takes the full responsibility for the disciple, and guides him, step by step, to the supreme realisation of monistic oneness.

In the struggle of life and through the various obstacles that beset a sadhaka’s path, I realized the full value of Mother’s dynamic influence and unerring spiritual guidance.  I realized, that trials to the sadhaks become stepping stones to success.  The Sadguru ever impels the sadhaka to higher realizations, to explore subtler fields of experiences, until the sadhaka realizes the effulgent presence of the Sadguru within and becomes the perfect instrument to work the divine will.

In diverse ways the supreme guidance of Mother worked in my life.  Often in crucial moments, there flashed into my mind, Mother’s words, guiding me to tide over many a trial.  Only through direct experience can one realize the great significance and meaning underlying Mother’s words.  Each word becomes a vivid realisation.  Words uttered twelve years back as warning, advice or blessing, took shape, years later, and became light and guidance in my life.  My conduct is still being moulded by them!  They are golden letters ever shining before my vision!

Thus the path of light I traversed, guided and strengthened every moment.  I concentrated more and more on the sublime upadesh of Mother, the Mahavakya and its subtle meaning and great significance.  As time went by, there rose within me a consciousness of inner force that nothing could touch, taint or vanquish, that roused in me the discriminating power and the dauntless will, to cut away delusions that obstructed my path to reality.

“Thou hast taken every moment
of my life in Thine own hands,
In my life Thy will is ever taking shape.
In my heart is the endless play of Thy delight.”
-Tagore.