– Smt. Ramani Kamath (1961)
Ours was a peaceful and happy marital life. A silken thread of love bound our lives together. When we were thus living in unbroken happiness, my husband had to be taken to the hospital for an abdominal operation. It was a case of appendicitis. The operation was successful and my husband was progressing fairly well when unexpected developments set in on the third day. I overheard the doctors whispering that my husband’s condition was serious. I was too shocked to be conscious of my surroundings.
The shock persisted and in me the doctors diagnosed symptoms of lunacy. Hospitalization for me was being thought of when a relative of mine, who was a disciple of Mother, chanced to come into my house. She prayed to Mother and tried to introduce in me the thought of the holy being through a photograph that was on hand.
The glorious day came in my life when my people took me to her. As I stepped into the room, a flash of lightning splashed through and filled it. It was such a splendour of effulgence that I could not describe. Perhaps my eyeballs must have dropped down, for, there I saw, in that light, two distinguished feet, lovely, blooming like two red lotuses, on the placid waters of some milky ocean. A voice was heard which was infinitely sweet. The voice was a command, sweetly persuasive. “Look, look here” were those words. I looked, but, saw not the form of Mother; but, the enchanting blue form of the Lord of Brindavan. That wonderful flute, that love-inspiring look, and those ruddy lips beaming bright with life-giving smile – that was Sree Krishna. Those crossed legs, and bending head, crowned with pearls, and diamonds and crested with a lovely peacock feather, I beheld. I was passing into a state of absorption, when again; the voice of infinite tenderness came forth, commanding me to look. I looked, and what was that sight! It was a flood of bluish light which whirled and whirled itself into a shape of alluring beauty. I saw that hand which gripped the invincible Kodanda, and the other hand granting me eternal refuge. Sweet was that face, calm and commanding. My eyeballs, which were drawn up, throbbed; their contraction was released, and they regained normalcy of function. In the place of the form of Sri Ramachandra, I beheld before me, the gracious Mother, of sweet smiles and enthralling beauty. I got the sanctifying darshan of her, who was identical with Rama, Krishna and Devi or Divine mother.
My own personal experiences establish her divinity beyond all doubt. Her gracious look saved me from complete breakdown. I felt regenerated. A new life began after my initiation. Developing in me is a sense of discrimination by her grace. My mind is being slowly withdrawn from the evanescent worldly pleasures. At her lotus feet, I have discovered my heaven of peace.