– SMT. M. C. MENON
It was the hand of destiny that led me to Mother’s holy presence. After my husband left this world suddenly, leaving me in charge of four little children, my life was in chaos. I lost all interest in life and was actually bed-ridden through mental agony. I felt helpless and desolate. I knew I must drag on this life somehow or other for the sake of my children, but I did not have the courage to face the sad realities of my life. To get some peace I tried to read religious books, but I found that I could not concentrate my mind even for a single moment. On seeing my desperate state, my friends, Mr. and Mrs. T. N. K. Nair suggested my approaching Mother for mental comfort. The horror of meeting anyone made me hesitate, but due to their persuasion I consented to go.
One fine day in November 1950, I was taken to her divine presence by my noble and loving sister-in-law. Words cannot describe my feelings of that first darshan of Mother. I was drawn to her by an unknown force. I felt a joyous thrill when I heard her sweet and majestic voice. I became conscious of her divine nature. Mother’s bhajan was soul-stirring and brought comfort to my troubled mind.
The next day dawned for me with a new hope, for, I was to have an interview with Mother, the Mother, who, I was told gave comfort to ailing souls like me. With trembling steps I went to the room, where Mother was sitting. On seeing the wonderful love and compassion for me on her divine face, I forgot myself and wept my heart out at her feet. Mother comforted and consoled me while tenderly stroking me as a mother her own daughter. I do not remember how long I lay at her feet. At that divine touch the first dawn of peace soothed my tortured heart. Suppressing my emotions, I became eager to hear Mother’s advice. Mother asked me to repeat Ram Nam with all intensity and faith and with the absolute belief that the divine name of God alone could bring peace and happiness. Mother told me of the transient nature of all worldly happiness and that eternal joy existed only at the lotus feet of God. I sought her blessings for carrying out these prayers sincerely. My heart, full of thanksgiving, I returned home. With all sincerity, I strove to act according to Mother’s advice. Days rolled on. Each day, I experienced a change for the better. There were moments when depression set in and I cursed even my very existence, but, then, the smiling face of Mother would appear before me, asking me to be brave and act according to her advice. My sincere prayers and the japa of ram nam gave me strength to face life again and to endure the hardships that beset me.
A few months after, in September 1951, Mother blessed me with initiation, and I became her disciple. I surrendered completely at her lotus feet. The eternal Mother is enshrined in my heart ever since. I became a changed person. As I look back, I find how surely and steadily the divine guiding hand moulded and still moulds me, how that wonderful transforming sakthy of Mother’s initiation made the veils of illusion fall away to reveal the essential truth. Every moment of my life I found that she was presenting me with fresh illuminations as to how to cultivate the godly qualities, and lead life in the light of her messages. She has given us the small circle of home to practice, these cherished ideals, to live a life of utter purity and dedication to God, and implant these high ideals in the children and those around us. Then she has given us the broader circle of the mandali to radiate that divine love and unity, to cultivate the bond of sisterhood and brotherhood. For years, I used to be in daily attendance in the mandir at Trichur. Circumstances prevent me now, as I have to be away from Trichur. I feel a great void in my heart. The evenings I spent there were blissful. I felt her presence there, ever radiating peace and fresh strength, needed to carry on the duties of life. In the company of her devotees I felt the bond of her love, binding us, as one big holy family.
Day by day the full faith and conviction is growing in me that she is Devi The Mother Divine, descended on the world to resurrect truth and dharma, to give succor to numberless suffering souls like me. Endurance, patience, peace and strength, all these are her gifts to me. May I live a life of full dedication to her who is my Mother and the Mother of all, and prove myself worthy of her boundless love and grace.
“Salutations to you, O, Narayani
O, You who are the good of all good,
O auspicious Devi, who accomplish every object
The giver of refuge, O three-eyed Gouri.”
(Devi Mahathmya)