The passing away of my husband who was throughout his lifetime was pious and God-fearing, with whom I had shard a peaceful life for two decades, compelled me to draw two conclusions. They were (1) all earthly pleasures are transient. (2) To me God is not merciful.
A friend of mine in order to console me took me for a bhajan which was conducted at a devotee’s house under the auspices of the Sree Rama Devi Bhaktha Mandali, Udipi.
A twelve hours’ akhanda Ram Nam yajna was in full swing. I felt that I had come to a new world. The atmosphere was of devotion. The melodious notes of Ram Nam sung in chorus, had a marvelous effect on me. The lighted lamp adorned by garlands of multicoloured flowers attracted my attention. Charmed by the grandeur of floral decorations on the lamp, I was staring at it when I had a singular experience. The lamp was suddenly transformed into the blissful form of a very divine being, a venerated Mother in a sitting posture, which had the exact resemblance of Sri Rama Devi’s photograph worshipped by the devotees. My body vibrated with the thrill of experience.
My friend gave me an interesting narration about the various supernatural powers of Mother and also how She was widely acclaimed and worshipped as a divine incarnation. The singular experience which I had on the first day, lent support to her view. But within me there was a lurking doubt because the tutelary deity to whom our entire family was devoted was Ganapathy. The very thought of the captivating form of the Mother which was imprinted in my mind would be sufficient to transport my mind to a region of exaltation. But the idol of my chosen deity whom I have been regularly worshipping for years together was equally evoking love, reverence and adoration.
In such a frame of my mind, one auspicious Gokulashtami day I was sitting in my shrine room, just before starting the midday worship. My mind drifted into meditative mood. With closed eyes, I was concentrating on my ishta devatha when in a powerful beam of light I beheld the radiant form of Mother, Her hand raised in benediction.
In that I visualized the beautiful form of Ganapathy, indicating thereby, that Mother was identical with Supreme Being manifesting various aspects of divinity including Ganapathy.
The experiences granted to me by Mother intensified my longing to have Her darshan. By this time I had no doubt as to Her divinity. In fact my chosen deity and my sadguru were identified with the Mother whom I saw in my visions.
My first darshan of Her took place at Mangalore during a flag hoisting ceremony. She looked exactly similar to the Mother of various visions. I felt safe in protection of the universal Mother who has descended in our midst taking on Herself the role of sadguru. The inner path which She prescribed to me appeared to be smooth and easy because it was illumined by love. As against the customary life of seclusion imposed by widowhood, I now courageously started associating myself with all the activities of the mandali with new strength and determination.
– Smt. Sharada Mallya