I begin this with sincere prayers at the lotus feet of Divine Mother Sree Rama Devi.
United prayers of thousands, with one accord shall never go unanswered. It was such an answer to our prayers that brought Mother to the land of Kauveri. That was my greatest pleasure to have the utmost honour of receiving the shakthi roopini as my honoured guest.
I first heard of Mother from a friend of mine who introduced me to the leaders of Sree Rama Devi Bhaktha Mandali, in Madikeri. I was desperate after the demise of my beloved husband. Everything seemed dark and empty. Added to this the responsibility of bringing up eight small children alone was a strain and I always prayed to embrace death. With no interest in life or my surroundings I used to go about like an automaton, eating if I felt like it and crying day and night. Though a devotee of Lord Krishna, when my husband was alive, I never prayed after his death, as I felt, in spite of all my prayers, God has let me down.
Mechanically, I used to read chapters from Bhagavat Gita, especially the second one, to feel sure of the existence of atma. Without a proper Guru one cannot understand such things. Now after I met Mother my ignorance is slowly clearing and I can understand a little of such matters. After weeping I used to get very often bad headaches and chest pains and omit blood. In spite of all cares from my parents I felt disgusted with the world which had no meaning to me. I could not travel. I was shunning everyone, never liking to talk.
One day my mother persuaded me to go to a bhajan. She arranged it at the Mahila Samaj, by the Sree Rama Devi Bhaktha Mandali. Having stayed there for five minutes I came away, unable to bear the noise of the cymbals. After two days mother asked them to come to my house for a programme of bhajans. She wanted me to find solace in prayers. For that Ramnaam Sankirtan, I sat for fifteen minutes.
Next day on October 20th two devotees of Mother, Shanthakka and Sulochanakka came home with prasadam from Mangalore and spoke to me of Mother who could cure all agonized souls. A sudden inspiration and a desire to see Mother got into me after partaking of the prasadam. I who could not bear to hear the noise of cymbals begged for another Ramnaam Sankirtan again in my house as I was unable to go out. It is Mother’s advice to members of the Mandali to help a suffering child. On October 28th another Ramnaam Sankirtan was conducted.
Mother was in Bangalore at that time. Hearing this, my only desire was to see Her. I prayed hard to God to fulfill this desire. My people would not allow me to go as doctors had told them that if I travel I risk my life. Shanthakka asked the ten members of our Mandali to have a mass pooja to pray so that I may be allowed to go. It worked and I was sent. Kudva Mam, the kind man with an iron will, assured my parents of my safety and took me to Bangalore on November 3rd with Shanthakka. From Mercara to Bangalore we spoke only of Mother as I wanted to know all about Her. Time and distance was lost on us and I who could not travel even two miles without vomiting, travelled that long distance safely. Just that unseen power guarded us.
For fear of being detained from my one goal, Mother, I never let my sister or aunt in Bangalore know about my coming. That night itself I wanted to see Mother. I was unable to do so. So I rested with the thought that I was at least in a place where Mother is. Next day November 4th the memorable day I saw divinity. Mother came. I offered flowers prostrating before Her. Patiently Mother let me be there, threw flowers over me, blessed me and washed off all my sorrows. Lifting me from darkness to light, Mother infused courage in me.
We invited Mother to our land. Mother nodded with a smile. At once a champaka flower from Her veni fell down. Being a widow I had no hopes of getting it, but to my luck Mother divining my thoughts gave it to me. She said She would talk in Canarese that day, about controlling the mind for the benefit of sorrowed persons like me. For the sake of Bombay Mandali I was asked to translate it into English. I was stunned. I had forgotten all languages and scarcely talked after my widowhood. I who was so immersed in sorrow and lost all power of speech to repeat Mother’s words! How could I! hearing Her for the first time how could I! I who had no idea of spirituality!
I just looked at Mother who was smiling and something prompted me to say “With thy grace I shall try”. All the while Mother’s divine eyes were penetrating me and sending courage to every cell in my body. I held tight the champaka flower Mother gave in my hands and none might believe me if I say that I had it for a year. Though dried, it used to emanate a heavenly fragrnce, and always gave me strength to talk well. That day, while listening to Mother, I sat transfixed and with Her grace, repeated a few words of it in English. My sister who had come to see Mother, was wonderstruck listening to me at my sudden change and was delighted to see me shine with an inner glow.
I went to Bangalore as a broken hearted desperate widow too disgusted with life and I returned full of life, my face radiant with the peace I got from Mother. I cast off my widowhood internally as I had now steadfast faith in Mother’s words that my “Mangalasootra” is the duty of bradcasting Her principales to suffering millions and as my “Kumkum” is pure bhakthi, prem and viswas as “kankanan.” I felt with these jewels and wedded to divinity I was no more a widow.
I was able to travel back alone as Shanthakka stayed back to drink more nectar. My people were thrilled to see me. Never have I fallen ill after that as I have no time to think of illness. During all the time of eating or drinking, waking or sleeping it is thirst for God that was persisting. All other actions are mechanical. Endless energy to carry on the additional responsibility filled me with pleasure and I find the meanings of the spiritual words easy. Dhyanam and smarana are my tonics and vitamins.
Doctors were puzzled and pleased to see my increased vigour and improved state of health. All my problems seemed to be solved by an unseen hand. My overnight change so sudden and fruitful was a topic for all our people. Many come to our bhajans and kept on asking when Mother will come here. We had to request the Vedantha Sangh, a bigger hall for conducting bhajans. Words about Mother spread very fast.
Mother fulfills all desires of Her children. We have to become pure vessels to receive Her grace. In order to cleanse ourselves to receive Mother, we started Devi poojas and mass prayers. This brought fruit. To our land of Kauveri came the incarnation of Kauveri Herself, on the 7th November 1959, just after a year and four days after my seeing Mother. We were all happy and felt like birds of joy. My home is called “Devi Villa’’ as though it predicted the coming of Devi, long before. After the second Ramnaam when Shanthakka installed Mother’s photo in my house for the sankirtan, she prayed that Mother Herself should come there in person. How very true it came to pass !
Although there are very many palatial buildings in Mercara it was this lucky house that was sanctified. Daily before retiring to bed I used to take up the dried champaka flower and pray that the giver of that should bless our land. Talking to Mother’s photo and laying beneath it all our sorrows and happiness after poojas, we used to feel sure that Mother would emerge out of it and bless us.
Mother came to “Devi Villa” amidst blowing of conches and arathi. After Her entrance the house seemed to glow with Her brilliance. We were too thrilled to act or speak as we were in ecstasies. The thought that the Mother was actually with us in form gave us untold joy. What touches one most is Her unselfishness, always thinking of other’s comforts first. Mother’s needs are very few.
November 7th was a day packed with programmes. Yet our Mother would not rest without seeing my children. She called every one of them and spoke so lovingly, bringing peace and laughter. After hearing Mother none can go wrong. What power made Mother pick up a rebellious child of mine among the lot and direct all attention to her, I cannot understand. It has transformed my child completely. What amazes one most is that once a name is uttered Mother can clearly remember it, although she has thousands of children to see.
When I am tired I go to bed directly not even wishing to speak to my children. What a mortal mother could not do, Divine Mother did by speaking to them even late at night asking about their studies and so on. Qualities like this endeared Mother to us most and children are drawn to her irresistibly. Her heart is an ocean of love.
November in Coorga is a very trying time with a biting cold. It was a great wonder to us that Mother rise up at 3 am. and take Her bath in cold water. She disturbed none. In that brahma muhoortam she was submerged in prayers becoming one with the universe. Without a cup of strong bed coffee first thing in the morning, one cannot do anything in Coorg.
Mother would not touch anything till 8am., even then it is only a very light breakfast. With a busy day ahead it bewildered me how Mother can withstand such strain with a light diet. Always for Mother’s programme there was a terrific rush and the crowd used to behave very well. It was all a wonder to us.
Mother not only preaches but practices what She preaches. This can only be noticed when one comes in close contact with Her. No harsh words, not even a rude expression can be got from Her. Every servant or employee is spoken to very gently. My servants and children vied with one another to do any little job for Her. Mother is very particular about punctuality. Never have I seen Mother delayed for any programme. At home in every step or action, Mother teaches good manners and corrects our speech with perfection. All that Hindu Dharma lays down is reminded to us to be followed.
It is Mother’s universal love that unites us to her children, irrespective of cast and creed on a common platform. This She does with compassion in Her heart and elixir in Her voice. To worried masses of humanity Mother gives a balm of peace, truth, justice and love. Never has anyone gone back forlorn. Rich and poor alike, from a general to a labourer who came to see Her, She treated all alike.
When Mother was here we had all our wishes granted. We always felt a current pass through us uplifting us. One memorable day, Mother put a garland over me after a pooja. The vibrations from Her and the divine touch gave a strength to me to last for ages, rejuvenating me. There was no urge to eat, drink or sleep but just to see and hear Mother. In my life time I cannot forget the whole sweet experience of having divinity at our home and all my prayers now are for the repetition of it. May God grant that prayer. On everyone’s face there is the emblem of divine love. We see mother in every sister and brother.
When Mother leaves a house She always gives presents of new clothes to servants and archakas. What a wonderful act? Simple in attire and habits, ever smiling with nobility and speaking soft words are attributes of Hers to be remembered and followed. Let us bear this in mind and march forth to spread Her gospel with confidence and truth.
I write this with profound feelings coming from the depth of my heart with loving gratitude towards Mother for taking me from death to everlasting bliss. With the very good fortune of having such a divine guest treasured deep in my heart I have now found shanthi, where once turbulent waves roared. May Mother always guide us.
– Mrs Bollamma Appanna